Sunday, February 24, 2019

Brave Babe


Depression can be paralyzing, it steals time, it steals life. Being low on spoons makes it more difficult to fight. I'm still here though.

• • •

▪ I may be glued to the couch,
▪ I may be crying a lot,
▪ I may be eating a bit too much chocolate cake, but
▪ I'm. Still. Here.

• • •

▪ It's my choice to go on for one more day, and I am.
▪ It's my choice to hide from the world while I sort out my pain, and I am.
▪ It's my choice to retreat inward and contemplate the condition of my soul, and I am.

• • •

Everybody struggles with something, and what's most important is that you make the choice to work through it in the way that's best for you.

• • •

Don't feel pressure or shame when others (or your own inner critics) tell you that you're going about your healing all wrong...
▪ stop
▪ listen to your soul
▪ it knows what it needs
▪ now honor that need.
Be true to yourself, and live to fight another day like the brave babe that you are♥

•RZ•

Friday, February 8, 2019

I Love Thing

     I am a huge fan of The Addams Family, and this hand reminds me of Thing. It is part of a Traveler's Notebook bookmark from Holly Hill Design Co

Friday, February 1, 2019

Self Care Vacay



     During the month of February I'm taking a "self care vacay" and removing every possible thing off my plate... more about that in a moment, but this will affect my shop & social media so I want to tell you how-
     My shop will remain open but with:
•only digital listings available
•physical items deactivated til the end of February.
•no new releases in February
•only 1 PR Babe (@planswithtea on Instagram)
•limited FB group activity
•no regular IG posts (I'll check in occasionally)
•please message me via etsy or email button if you need me!

     Now, only continue reading if you're curious about why I'm doing this: my mental health is suffering greatly. It always is to some degree but over the past few months I've been slipping deeper into depression for two main reasons: my physical health is making it increasingly difficult to keep up with daily living, and I'm going through a weird time of introspection & contemplation. I'm bad about doing good things for myself, but my birthday is in February so it's the one time of year I'm okay with being nice to myself😂

     I'm going to be open about this: I struggle with my self-worth immensely. To the point of feeling guilty every day for breathing oxygen that others could be utilizing better than I. Also, I am really, really alone. I can't tell you how difficult it is to be the sole caretaker for a person you mostly despise. If you follow my personal Instagram you've likely been witness to some of my recent dark thoughts & despair over wanting to love myself but having no clue how to flip that switch. I've been working extra hard in psychotherapy over the years to deal with this but progress is slow.

     I lost my true self at some point & so what I really hate is this shell of a person, the walls I built up over the years to protect myself through disability, traumas & heartaches... they became a prison for my authentic self & I put up a facade to survive.

At some point the mask became more real to me than my own soul. I want to free the prisoner. I need to pull all my resources to do so; spend time sitting with myself & with God, to figure out how to pull this mask off & not only love, but be true to, who God made me to be.

     February is dedicated to soul-searching, and hopefully some soul-freeing. I hope to come back to you in March refreshed if nothing else. There's so much I want to make & do, but I can't make any of it happen if I can't even live with myself.

     Thank you planner fam, for supporting my creative endeavors. I'm always flabbergasted that people pay money for anything I make, and I hope you know that every time you do you are sending love to the creative soul who is currently imprisoned❤